Why You Should Never Trust a Gecko


Aww … so cute and pretty, right? Wrong!

When I first arrived in Thailand, I was all, “Look at all the geckos! They’re so small and sweet. Maybe I can tie a little leash around one and call him Buckminster*.”

But that was before I got to know them. Here’s why I can no longer trust geckos.

They plot against you.

When I was in bed yesterday, I felt something fall on my stomach. I looked up to see this …

He had just dropped a home-cooked lizardy nugget on my bare stomach, and this motherfucking gecko was just frozen there on the ceiling, staring intensely at me with his pinhead eyes.

They move too fast.

They have this horrible way of moving around, like a horror movie villain who has been run over by a car seven times, and, even though he has dislocated hips and backwards elbows, he still manages to stagger at an alarming speed. It’s a spasmodic, feverish shimmy. Their sticky foot pads allows them to climb walls, and if startled, they’ll find an open window to mush their fleshy bodies through, before disappearing into the night.

They want to mess with your mind.

The song of the gecko is omnipresent. GECK-O. It’s in the corners of your room. GECK-O. It’s under the couch. GECK-O. It’s coming from underwear drawer, your make-up bag, your box of Special-K. Imagine if I hid in your house and, every now and then, made my presence known by whispering my name. TORRE. TORRE. TORRE. No, not creepy at all.

They are bilingual.

Thai people call them chingchoks because according to them, that is the noise they make. Really? Because I’m hearing a distinctive GECK-O. There is definitely no CHING and absolutely no CHOC in GECK-O. Which can only me one thing: they speak two languages!

Whenever you are, there they are.

Every morning when I get out a bowl for breakfast, I expose a gecko from his hiding spot under the dishware. Freaked, he takes off running like a madman—his tiny hips sashaying in high speed, his beady eyes far too clued-in for my liking. Whether I’m preparing my breakfast or showering or sleeping, I can feel 1,000 unblinking stares fixed lasciviously on my food, my body, my orifices. They’re always near, watching, waiting …

They can lick their own eyeballs.

They don’t have eyelids, they instead just lick their eyeballs clean. Enough said.

They’re meaty.

Ivan was in the bathroom having a leisurely pee when he suddenly flew out of the door backwards. “There’s a giant lizard in there!” he said, startled. Ivan is the person I call when I need giant spider removal services. He swims with sharks and snacks on deep fried cockroaches. But this lizard had him jigging about on the spot.

“Really? You’re scared of a lizard?” I said.

“It’s meaty!”

“Can you put it outside?”

“No-ho-ho-ho-ho!” he stammered. “No-ho-ho-ho-ho-way! It’s too meaty.”

I wanted to see some meat that even an Argentinean wouldn’t go near.  “Show me.”

He pointed in horror to the wall beside the toilet. It was longer than my foot, and meaty it was:

If you blur your eyes, they’re fingers with legs.

I used to think they were adorable, but now I realise they are the fingers of sex offenders that have grown eyes and legs so they can slip into small spaces without being noticed. See?

Creepy fingers want to give you some candy

Or maybe they’re just harmless house lizards. I don’t know.

* Buckminster was the name my parents were going to give me if I’d come out a boy. No kidding. My parents tried for a boy, but had six girls instead. Clearly, God doesn’t approve of Buckminster either, but I feel it’s the perfect name for a creepy lizard on a leash.

Leave a Comment

  • Christina May 11, 2012, 9:01 am

    Hysterical–as usual. XX

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:18 am

      You’re only saying that because you’re my mum. x :)

    • lexy September 22, 2013, 3:31 am

      i love geckos i take in unwanted geckos who have been found or are no longer wanted in a house hold so if u go back bring me a bucket full . lol.

  • erin aka eef May 11, 2012, 11:51 am

    haha, i love this post! we have geckos here, but no that many. i have yet to find one in the house, so they’re still fun to me… i don’t imagine they’d be so fun scampering about my house.

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:20 am

      Yeah, I felt the same way before I shacked up with them. Some relationships go awry when you move in together.

  • Erica May 11, 2012, 12:03 pm

    This is hilarious! and I have no idea that they lick their own eyeballs.

    I’d take 10 geckos over 1 roach any day, though…

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:21 am

      You know, I used to feel the same way, Erica. But even the giant roaches here don’t disturb me as much as the geckos. Perhaps if there were as many roaches are there are geckos, I’d feel differently.

      • Erica May 15, 2012, 3:28 am

        oh no… that’s terrifying.

    • thanveer March 20, 2013, 2:21 pm

      it is true they can lick thir ow eye balls i saw it many times in my house

  • Shannon O'Donnell May 11, 2012, 2:31 pm

    This is hilarious. And I happen to love gekkos, the cute little ones that chuckle at just the right moment when I would chat with friends in my apartment in Thailand. Then I went south to Cambodia and saw my first full-grown one. THEY’RE SCARY. And meaty..meaty is precisely the word for it. :)

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:22 am

      I’m glad we’re on the same page with this. Little, fleshy beast = okay. HUGE FLESHY MOFO = scary!

  • Meg May 11, 2012, 6:45 pm

    My dog loves to gecko hunt, or what I like to call Lizzy hunt. She is so fascinated by them, so if anything they are good dog toys! :)

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:26 am

      Lizzy. Funny. We often call them Lizzy too. “Oh, look, Lizzy’s here.” All lizards are really just one female character named Lizzy.

      I agree that they make good toys for the dogs (and cats, I’m sure).

  • Aaron @ Aaron's Worldwide Adventures May 11, 2012, 7:43 pm

    Torre, hilarious as always! I have to say though, I totally miss the geckos from my time in Thailand! They became such a routine site that it’s just not the same sitting at a restaurant at home in NYC and NOT seeing one of them traversing the ceiling above you!

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:27 am

      Ha ha. I’m still waiting for the day that I get stuck into my Pad Thai noodles and discover a little baked body in the folds of noodles.

  • Denise May 12, 2012, 12:25 am

    They do say GECK-O….definitely!

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:28 am

      I’d love to have an argument with a Thai person about this. In Sweden, roosters say “Koo-koo-da-koo” apparently. But I’m pretty damn sure they say “Cock-a-doodle-do.”

      • Denise May 15, 2012, 6:14 am

        They say neither of these things. They say ki-ki-ri-kiiiii!!!, as any Italian will tell you. That sounds more likely to me.

  • Lindsey May 12, 2012, 12:42 am

    Bahaha this was hilarious! We get geckos a bit here but not that many! Sounds, umm, fun …

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:31 am

      Apparently they had to remove a snake from the accommodation next door, so I consider myself to be pretty lucky.

  • Deborah May 12, 2012, 11:00 am

    When I lived in Cambodia there were geckos all over my flat. Someone once told me the only time they fall from the roof is when they are ‘mating’… I suspect I spent much of the time trying to discourage bonking (lest they drop on top of me when I least expect it!).

    I know they’re essentially harmless, but I find them freaky… plus the noise they make can be bloody annoying!

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:32 am

      Just out of curiosity, how to do you about discouraging geckos from bonking? Does that mean no Barry White music after 10pm?

      • licerio July 5, 2013, 5:43 am

        hehe perfectly whitty response. I recently moved to Hawaii and the geckos are really gonna take some getting used to and the flying roaches any advise. lol lizzy just laughed at me when i typed that

  • Charley May 12, 2012, 11:18 am

    Must be the sheer numbers of them. We have ONE lone gecko living near out car port and he comes out only when its super hot. He’s the only one ive ever seen at our house an don his own he is cute (and exciting for his rareness!). But what you’re describing does sound freaky…and hilariously described :)

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:35 am

      How do you know it was only one and not many that looked the same? I thought we had ONE living on the boat (Lizzy) and then one day we found in a corner, dried up and very much dead. “Oh, no, poor Lizzy.” But then the next day, Lizzy was back, Pet Sematary-style.

  • Sarah Somewhere May 12, 2012, 12:47 pm

    Ba ha ha ha ha… Too funny, Torre. Maybe you could write a spooky children’s book about The Aventures of Buckminster, it wil be like the next Harry Potter, but better :)

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:36 am

      YES!!! I love it. Though I have a feeling that if I wrote a children’s book, it have a great number of inappropriate themes in it.

  • Nicole May 12, 2012, 5:47 pm

    I had never heard of the name Buckminster before, but just now, a quote by Buckminster Fuller came up in my FB feed. I had to come back and tell you. Was it he who your parents wanted to name you after?

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:36 am

      I have no idea. My parents named me after Torrey Pines, California, but they got the spelling wrong. So who knows what they were thinking when they came up with Buckminster.

  • Pia May 13, 2012, 11:55 am

    You’ve done it again T dawg! Funny, funny post! I told you, they’re HUGE on that island! I feel the need to share the fact that I accidentally ran over a gecko on my wheely office chair last week. I may have cut the little guy in half?….It’s haunted me ever since! It wasn’t pretty. There is still little meaty bits in the wheel. And then there was the time one launched itself at me in the shower in Nam. I squealed like a bitch. Luke said he has never heard that sound come out of my mouth before. They are sneaky little buggers that haunt you. GECK-O, GECK-O is natures cruel version of the ‘Venga Bus’ song I reckon! Love to you and Ivan xxx

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:38 am

      No!! You’ve haunted me! Now all of my showers will be taken in fear of a Psycho moment, but with a kamikaze gecko instead of Norman Bates.

  • kate May 13, 2012, 9:20 pm

    Wow – I was laughing out loud reading this. I always thought of geckos as cute and cuddly too, you know, the Geico gecko type of gecko. Now I have a new phobia! Thanks for the laughs (not the phobia) :)

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:39 am

      Sorry about the phobia. Though a problem shared is a problem halve, so thanks.

  • Davis May 14, 2012, 12:14 am

    Here in the States we have a gecko as the Trusted Spokesperson for a car insurance company.

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:40 am

      They should change their mascot. Could you trust someone who licks their own eyeballs? COULD YOU?

      • alex September 22, 2013, 3:34 am

        well it is for insurance and it is called geico life insurance but it has a gecko as a mascott it is pretty good it is all animated

  • Ayngelina May 14, 2012, 3:32 am

    Oh my this made me laugh out loud. But I have to defend the gecko for a minute – they do eat bugs and there is nothing worse than the bugs in South East Asia.

    • Torre DeRoche May 15, 2012, 3:40 am

      You’re totally right, Ayngelina. This is their one redeeming feature (and I must say, it’s a pretty significant redeeming feature).

  • Emily Woodhouse May 17, 2012, 4:18 am

    Your gecko pictures reminded me of my childhood memory. When I was in Subic Bay, Philippines with my parents. My mom used to call them little dinosaurs in front of me. lol

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:29 pm

      They are dinosaurs! Itty bitty little ones.

  • Jeremy Branham May 18, 2012, 5:16 am

    I wouldn’t want to deal with those lizards either. Those things are big! Here’s the real question – do they bite?

    Well I will say this for Geckos – they do a great job of selling car insurance!

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:30 pm

      Yes, they bite. Apparently they get lock jaw and don’t let go for an hour or so. Google it.

  • Lauren May 18, 2012, 6:47 am

    I’ve never given much thought to Geckos- I’ve only seen them in Hawaii and I found them pretty and cool, and a bit freaky at the same time.

    Buckminister? Really. Where did they get that name from? You don’t hear that every day. And six girls, they really wanted a boy!

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:31 pm

      They were probably trying to think up a name that would protect me from school-ground teasing, and Buck didn’t rhyme with anything bad they could think of…

  • Hannah May 19, 2012, 1:42 pm

    I loved this post! You made me laugh out loud, but I gotta say, I’m down with the geckos, meaty or otherwise. I just find them so darn cute! I never actually knew that they really said ‘Geck-o’ until I was in Bali a few years ago and heard a little dude introducing himself for the first time. I have to admit, it made me love them even more. Don’t hate me.

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:32 pm

      Why don’t you just marry them then, Hannah?! Psht. ;)

  • Runaway Brit May 29, 2012, 8:51 pm

    I have to admit that when I lived in Saigon I quite liked the geckos that ran around the house (apart from when they sprang out from the toilet bowl), but my next door neighbour seemed to have all manner of problems with them: they used to run down his walls and steal rubber bands from a bowl on his desk! Another time he was removing his laundry from the washing machine and found HALF a gecko amongst his clothes! He never found the other half.

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:33 pm

      Oh no, that’s gross.

      I wonder why they wanted the rubber bands? They don’t even have ponytails to tie back. They’re bald.

  • Vacay Girl June 7, 2012, 11:21 pm

    Ugh! Never thought they were cute but was never bothered by them either. I’d imagine if I saw them constantly they would begin to freak me out as well. I know you’ve probably already thought of this but I hope one never poops in your mouth while you sleep. That would definitely mean curtains for the little guy!

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:34 pm

      That’s it—I’m installing a mesh screen on my mouth hole.

  • Sueann June 15, 2012, 5:09 pm

    I have a massive phobia of geckos/lizards and had a very hard time reading this post. *Shudder* The last image did not settle well in my mind and I had to rapid-scroll to the bottom of the screen just so I could get away from the image. ARGHH!!!

    And to follow up on some of the comments, I’d take a roach anytime over a baby lizard. Roaches still creep me out but at least I don’t do a minor convulsion whenever I see a picture of one.

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:35 pm

      Sorry to traumatise you, Sueann. I guess that means no trips to the tropics?

  • Katherine - Kapcha The World June 21, 2012, 2:59 am

    haha awesome. Am literally crying with laughter now!

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:35 pm


      • angela July 2, 2014, 9:23 pm

        haha ive only really just discovered gecko lizards but i have just bought a great load of glass ones lol cos i thought they looked great

  • NaEun July 9, 2012, 4:05 pm

    I grew up in Cambodia for 14 years – I am TERRIFIED of them. When travelers come and say that they are the cutest creatures, I cringe. Next time, I’m showing them this post. I have so many horrible gecko stories too. yikes!

  • Leif August 14, 2012, 1:31 am

    They’re fingers with legs lol. A thai lady told me that if you hear them croak 7 times then you will have good luck.

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:36 pm

      Um … I’m pretty sure that means they’re having sex.

  • Gina September 4, 2012, 10:08 pm

    I love geckos, but I don’t think I’ll ever look at them in quite the same way again. :)

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:37 pm

      They’ll be looking at you, though. As you sleep.

  • Julie Jacobson September 9, 2012, 2:25 pm

    I love your gecko story and your Bio, the two things that I have read so far. Your website is beaucoup fun. I hope to have my own website someday, but I have a lot of time to sit and think about it since my son is going to make it for me. Maybe I’ll even learn how to be funny by then.

  • Neil Skywalker January 14, 2013, 10:14 am

    I’m dating a Sudanese girl now who is deadly afraid of Gecko’s too. She would love this article.

    • Torre DeRoche January 14, 2013, 12:17 pm

      Ha ha. It would just reinforce her fears, make her scared-er-er.

  • Saïd February 25, 2013, 10:59 am

    I met one of’em in the guestroom about a month ago, he was small and fast, he ran under the bed, I thought ok I don’t use that room so leave him be. We came across each other yesterday and he got bigger this time, maybe it’s another one and there’s a colony of’em but I’d rather not think about that…Anyway I hit him to the head with a long piece of wood (found nothing else to hit him with), his eye popped out and he jumped then fell and I saw some blood on the floor, he tried to run but I hit him again, his tail kept moving, I didn’t wanna kill him, but he was “damaged” and I feel bad about that, I still do. I threw it out anyway, hopinge he’ll survive, there’s a legion of cats outside, I’m not sure about him surviving, but I hope his death wouldn’t be by my hands…Anyway, since I’m feeling bad, I was browsing the internet for people like me, and I found this article, and I feel a little better, because that big meaty one in the bathroom, he fucking looks like the one I had in my house and I’m thinking maybe if I let it co-exist with me, I would have just burnt the house and moved somewhere else…so thank you for making me feel a little better!

  • Stephen April 3, 2013, 10:53 pm

    You,ve made me think twice . Made me laugh anyway, is that the colour of your tum?if so you should see your g.p. immediately.

  • lori April 24, 2013, 7:34 pm

    Oh, I live in Texas, I don’t mind all the Gecko’s, they mainly live outside or in the fireplace stones. What I DO mind are the tarantulas!! Imagine those guys climbing on your walls…they freak me every time. AND they’re so big you can’t just squash them like a regular spider….

    • Torre DeRoche April 27, 2013, 2:32 am

      O. M. G. You get tarantulas in your house?!!

  • Jim d July 4, 2013, 7:42 am

    Well guys u are not gonna believe this,i have seen different geckos in my house and they give me sleeples nights literarily speaking.they wake me up from my sleep talking to my mind,guys u might tink am insane but its true.they stare at me a lot and sometimes its like they have powers they operate with.this creatures make me feel strange and sometimes they will hang directly above my head when am sleeping so i wake with up and get shock when i see them.guys dont trust wall geckos they are up to something and they seem dangerous to me.

  • Natasha Swan July 10, 2013, 12:07 pm

    Hahahahaha!! Oh my gosh, this is the funniest thing I have ever read! I can honestly agree with all of this!
    These tiny dinosaurs just stare into your soul and then you blink just once and they’re gone.

  • Morgan July 15, 2013, 3:06 am

    Good luck with those geckos in Thailand- they love heat and humid environments – take it from a Texas girl. Good news? They’ll knock out some of those pesky flies and mosquitoes.

  • susan August 3, 2013, 6:29 pm

    This had me laughing your very funny!! I live in Greece and just when I think I have gotten rid of all the gekkos I go into the bathroom and another one is above my head!! they are horrid creatures!! I have just found another and refuse to go into the bathroom until my husband comes home which isn’t until tomorrow so I will be very smelly!! so annoying!

  • Mandy August 7, 2013, 3:43 am

    So I was nearly attacked in the bathroom tonight by the dreaded gecko. He pulled the classic ceiling drop. My husband was teasing me b/c I truly think I have a healthy fear of the little monsters. So I decided to look up “fear of geckos” to prove I’m not alone. I came across your blog and we thoroughly enjoyed it. Our geckos are not nearly as scary as yours so no trips to Thailand for me! Thank you for a good laugh! Oh and I hope I don’t have to get up in the middle of the night…I know he’s waiting for me.

  • LoTekGirl August 8, 2013, 8:39 pm

    Love it; keep it coming Buckminster! I think I may have some disturbing nightmares about those Gecko hands though…

    • Nalani August 9, 2013, 1:44 am

      OMG, I despise these guys! I live in Hawaii and they’re everywhere too!! :-( Currently I am losing a battle at getting one out of my car! It got in there two nights ago when I accidentally left my window cracked. It’s only 1 1/2 inches long (a baby one), but no less freaky!! He’s made 2 appearances since, but as soon as I try to get him out, he wriggles into a crease in my carseats….wish me luck!!

  • Rejin August 31, 2013, 5:40 pm


  • Hels September 8, 2013, 11:44 pm

    Funny post… but I love geckos. Almost as much as I love cats, and that’s saying something. :)

  • Blanca September 14, 2013, 5:00 am

    I hate them. i nearly had a heart attack in cambodia – they were everywhere! didnt se any in bangkok- i am off yo Khao Lak in november and really scared:(

  • Sherri September 18, 2013, 5:06 pm

    My friends think I’m nuts. I’m happy to learn I am not the only one with a healthy fear of geckos. I avoid live plants near the doors to prevent one from slipping in. While in Chicago last week, I noted – not a single gecko in sight. I may move there. I had to shoo one out of my house today. It was such an emotional episode, it may as well have been a python.

  • Franca December 13, 2013, 9:39 pm

    I love this post :) I used to be terrified of geckos but after having spent a bit of time in SEA I learnt to ‘appreciate’ them especially when they make their calls :)

  • Grahame January 3, 2014, 10:52 pm

    Hi, I also read this and found it quite funny. But then I realised it is based on lies, damned lies! How could a Gecko, clinging to the ceiling, turd up hill! Its’ ass is pointing upwards at this point and even if it could drop a nugget it would crap on itself and as such I feel you have done the humble gecko a disservice with your use of poetic licence!!!

  • Diane Irvine January 29, 2014, 10:16 am

    Love this article, but I have to say that I have recently, more than ever grown to like this little gritter. They keep the house clean of horrible spiders and anything else that doesn’t pay rent in my house! And only just discovered that the chirping noise in my lounge is some chatty little Geckos, not a bird making his home in the air-con.

  • Sue February 28, 2014, 8:56 pm

    Checked into really nice hotel in Hanoi. While unpacking, moved pillow on bed, and a gecko ran across bed. Called operator to send someone to take gecko out of room, and when 2(!) people finally arrived with large bags, etal. I had already put a glass over him on the bed to prevent him from disappearing off it to elsewhere in the room. ALL had a good laugh as their ‘gecko’ is a very large lizard which is what they expected to see; not this cute little guy under a drinking glass! He/it had come in thru a small opening of the window from the foliage outside.

  • Natalia March 14, 2014, 3:12 am

    OMG! I so hate geckos. All my life. I hate and scared to death when I see them. A guy friend of mine passed out when a gecko fell on top of him when he was lying in bed. Your description of this hideous creature is so right!!

  • Stenily Jane April 3, 2014, 6:28 pm

    Hi! I stumbled upon your post because I have this freakishly sounding gecko in my fiancee’s room.. and you are soooo right! They plot against you! Every time my mind drifts away from its presence, it chirps and announces that it’s still there :( We just moved in this room yesterday and I can’t sleep properly because I fear it might be laying flat on my face when I wake up the next morning . ANyhow, I enjoyed your post! :D

  • Lee Jing Wei Gwendolyn April 5, 2014, 2:54 pm

    Hi, I’m Gwen and i’m twelve but i’ve always known freaky Science facts and i’m P6 this year.Anywho, i’ve always thought of them little critters as ADORABLE, but just past night, i was playing with one and i couldn’t get hold of it so i used tape.Turns out it tore his belly skin, and inDID NOT want to see the skin on it’s back torn off,so i threw it out my window.Well, gues what?
    IT CAME BACK.THE TAPE STICKING It oN THE SOFA.Long story short, im glad i didnt experince what you did,you know, the poop.But i did try to sho one away just,and when i warned him of how loud and dangerous my Mum was,it just stood there.So i threw my soft toy at it twice and it scurried off on the top of the air con unit.did i mention i live in Singapore?But those lizzy fingers,it really got me creeped AND thinking o.o

  • Meow April 16, 2014, 3:35 pm

    Jing-jok is the pale skin, small ones…really skinny, yellowish skin.
    But gecko is the scary ones, they can be really big, depends on the food and climate.

  • nitish May 9, 2014, 9:42 pm

    would it be enough if i possess a shotgun or a rambo knife to save me from the devil geCk0’s in my home’s wall that shows it’s presence everytime i enter, underneath my bed, behind the curtain that always fearfully shocks me to death and evil egoistic charmeleons that from anywhere comes to me ….. i can see in their tiny sharp pointed eyes that they want to bite me 1000 times in every 1 hours…

  • Rene Womble May 16, 2014, 11:31 pm

    i just moved down to texas and have been beset with geckos on my back porch – last night i saw one scampering into my house! i will not sleep well anymore – this cracked me up! i don’t get close enough to hear any sounds, but i’m sure this demon gecko in my house will be saying my name like yours was saying yours! thanks for the levity!

  • Maria June 2, 2014, 5:26 am

    omg!! This is too funny! i lived in Michigan my whole life and the worse thing i came across was a garden snake or a centipede but i moved to Florida recently and omg geckos and lizards everywhere its disgusting i get chills every time i see one. Just saw one in my room the other day managed to kill it because it crawled under my hat and i stomped on it mwhahaa

  • Izzy s.g 1001 June 9, 2014, 7:20 am

    How can you say that I have a 5 day old hatchling and he is ADORABLE and very harmless I think there the cutest things ever when there babies and sooooo pretty

  • Mariasha June 9, 2014, 3:45 pm

    I love this!!!! You got it right! I, too, was admiring the “adorable” creatures, claiming they were bringing out my maternal instincts until one particular brazen, hyper gecko started messing with us, including leaping onto my naked body in bed! The one in your bathroom is a Tokay. We’re in Thailand, too, and those tokays make all kinds of noise crawling all over the roof at night. Also cute – from a distance. haha! Love your blog!

  • LX June 27, 2014, 10:59 am

    they’re not good lizard,or either been use as evil tools by some wicked human,seriously,i feared this animal than a lion.i have been buying some poison to use to flush them out of my enviroment next time i travel to Africa. if they’re in your bedroom,watch out for some scratches on your face or body when you wake up next day.i can always feels when mosquito land on my skin,how come i never feel gecko’s scrach or even crawling on my skin.if they put their heads down toward where you’re sleeping,you will be struggling to get up from your bed,it is like 10 people held you down to your bed. i dont normally believe in superstitious crap,but i strongly believe this. Yoruba and other tribes in Nigeria,considered them to be evil or been use for witchcraft, i did experienced it many times since i was born,even till early this year when i was in Nigeria. i never felt such a thing where i live in europe. you never see them moving or running around,only if they want to eat inseects, they will just hang on the wall,watching you 24/7,the horror begin when you go to sleep.and this happens to many people.

    • Torre DeRoche November 14, 2014, 10:05 am

      Please never hurt geckos or any other animals, even if you’re scared of them. Killing animals is not okay.

    • bella January 30, 2015, 1:23 am

      geckos are disgusting and freaky creatures. they re definitely up to something. I have blocked all d holes in my room but still I dont know how they find their way into my room last night, I saw two at my window making annoying sounds so I tried killing them. geckos are evil creatures they just lurk around staring at you. I think they re used for evil by evil forces. I always kill them with insecticide whenever I see them. they should never be trusted.

  • Matthew June 29, 2014, 3:07 pm

    I so much hate ts creatures
    they mess wit ur mind. if u have geckos in or around ur house, u should try n observer if thr is one around when u having bad imaginations
    as if they possess one wit evil
    since I notice ts, I start killing n chasing them away n those bad imaginations stop coming to me

  • Tina July 13, 2014, 8:45 am

    You must be what I call judgemental and consider your self as someone that desevers more than what you think is beneath you. I will admit it is because I love watching lizards of all kinds and have found that my mother is the only person that will bight her toung about how she feels about the time I spend doinjg that, bird watching and feeding but for me it is how I recharge myself after going thru major losses that still bring me much pain. So just because you focus on some negitive points of another life form should not knock the positive points of the map less you just dont want to spend the energy it take to recall something positive you once thought or felt. Maybe you are a victum yourself of such judgements and have not come to terms with sucking up the negitive you have come accross in order to keep from passing it on on the other hand maybe this lizard is the thing you allow yourself liberty to project negitive and worthless thoughts to the point of making sure you tell as many as you can of your negitive thoughts.

    • Torre DeRoche November 14, 2014, 10:01 am

      I’m so glad you have geckos to make you feel okay. They don’t evoke those feelings for me. We’re all entitled to our differing experiences.

  • Samantha Mountfort July 28, 2014, 6:02 pm

    This is completely spot on!! I have a real bad fear of these little evil blood sucking fire breathing things and I do not trust them whatsoever!! Love this! :-)

  • Deplane August 8, 2014, 3:53 am

    I hate geckos because of that commercial, where they have a British gecko from Thailand not understanding BullWinkle and Rockey! Now what’s next with this Dam lizard going to take on a new color? Black maybe? Shoot me!

  • Antonio Lopez August 20, 2014, 12:26 am

    Geckos are AWESOME, I have a leopard gecko and he (and yes I checked) is the best pet ever! Unlike most geckos, leopard geckos have eyelids and cannot climb walls or glass.

  • bolko October 2, 2014, 8:58 pm

    Not all geckos are like these! There are more than 1000 species of geckos, and actually a few genera have adapted to live with humans. You happen to find the tokay gecko, scientific name Gekko gekko, which is a common gecko in south and southeast Asia, in houses, farms and the wilderness. From its vocalization all the members of the gecko superfamily got their name.
    The tokay gecko happens to be one of the largest geckos, up to 30 cm. Other house geckos, like the mediterranean house gecko (Hemidactylus turcicus) here in Greece, reach only 10 cm, and, although they can vocalize, most of the time they seem that do not exist. Nowadays they are found usually outside homes, because inside insects are usually absent. You can try to exclude geckos from your home by elliminating their food, insects, chasing them out and guarding possible entry points with mesh.
    And no, geckos don’t lick their eye balls. Actually the eyelids are extremely thin and fused in a kind of membrane, and the gecko licks that to clean it. The eye ball is inside and protected. That it is a good adaptation for a small nocturnal lizard that runs through branches, but closing the eye is a problem. Usually geckos will constrict the pupils as much as possible and pull their eyes a little in in order to minimize light absorbed. but to have a good sleep they will seek a dark place. I have a crested gecko (Correlophus ciliatus), and I have observed it much. Very different species than the tokay though.
    The tokay is also held in captivity, but it is not prefered by most for a reason. I don’t want to frighten you more, but it is extremely fearless and aggressive for its size. In an enclosed space, it will jump to an interfering human from a distance and lock its jaws on him for much time. The teeth are adapted to crush small snails and beetles, so guess what happens. Although I don’t believe that one will attack you, it might if you try to catch it with bare hands. And also beware of the dropping tails! Caught geckos can drop their tail, which regenerates later, as a form of defence towards predators.
    But we must feel some sympathy for those animals. In recent years, because of some fraudulent chinese people, who persuaded the gullible that tokay geckos cure aids, thousands are killed. They kill them, then make them a powder and sell them in capsules, with no proven benefit of course. That must stop!

    Have a good living in Thailand, and be safe.

  • vic October 6, 2014, 1:57 am

    Hilarious blog! Was a good read but to be honest, I love the geckos! I live in the countryside in Thailand so they’re all around my house. But last night a giant gecko (about 18cm) was actually stalking some little wren type bird that was eating the flies off my screen! I had to intervene and scare away the bird! Thought that was slightly odd!

    • Colleen October 14, 2014, 5:06 pm

      It was probably jealous or territorial with the bird eating “his portion.” Guess they are some of the smartest, clingiest creatures around! Can go into a palace of a king if it wants to!! haha

  • bobajob November 14, 2014, 8:52 am

    the one with the yellow rings on its
    tail is a tokay gecko and it eats cockroaches, bigger than the normal house gecko
    which is green and has no rings on the tail.
    Both are welcome in my house though i haven’t seen a tokay for a long time.
    I leave snacks out for the house gecko, small pieces of boiled egg white and bits
    of soft cream cracker.

  • Lizz November 16, 2014, 10:07 pm

    hahahaha! I found one in my room and did a search online and this was one of the articles that came up…thank you , that was funny :)

  • Kay Neu November 29, 2014, 9:47 pm

    I have those little devils IN my house noW. Never , had seen them before. How do you get rid of them.? Thanks For any help.

  • lynne December 5, 2014, 12:26 am

    How do you get Geco out of your house..what do they not like.

  • Sanne December 17, 2014, 11:56 am

    Hahaha your story is so funny!!
    I googeld: does lizards feel pain when they fall off the wall? And I found your article.. still dont know the answer. But made me laugh though!

  • dannie December 19, 2014, 1:02 am

    I hate geckos indeed. creepy and sneaky. and they keep running like thieves each time u meet them. I knw they do the job of eating up the bugs and insects but I wldnt need their help for dat. plus the fact dat they are eptiles belonging to same classification as snakes. I just dnt like em. got loads of dem here in Nigeria found almost in every house . they creep me out. I wish I knew abt any geckocide if such exists. lol

  • Nicola January 1, 2015, 1:32 pm

    Haha.. hilarious. few faint tears funny!
    I lived in thailand for years and was also baffled by how the thai’s could hear anything but a distinct geck-o.. a thai guy told me ching chok is the book name, they also call them tokehs.. tok-eh tok-eh… closer…kinda.. but yeah, not really.
    Im on bali now and trying to figure out how i can get the two living in my house to be my friends.. i’ve fed them flies.. they still look skeptical of me… maybe it’s those unblinking eyes ;)
    Thanks for the laugh :D

  • Marline January 3, 2015, 5:29 am

    Hi..those things are flippen nasty, I hate geckos, I scream for my husband everytime I see one, and if he doesn’t come on time to remove it, he just better watch out! I wonder why God created such ugly dirty creepies. I never got to see a geckos till I was 23. That was my first encounter, when we moved to our new home..I do have a fobia, but then again who doesn’t fear those ugly monsters, especially the transparent ones. They make like a click click noise…and leave stinky droppings. I always shut my windows before 6pm so that they don’t get into my house. There are many scary encounters with those uglies. Once I was taking a bath and one fell into the water, I got out screaming for my dear life and ran out naked and locked myself in my sons room. My hub thought there was a thief in the house. I was stammering, and shaking, and trembling, That thing fliippen drowned and died. Good! They all must get wiped out of this planet. I made my hub sterelize and wash my bath. They are aliens I think. They also rude and love looking at naked woman. Seriously I wonder if there’s anyone out there that like those freeks. I just think they should leave us alone.

  • Avinash @ PlanetWeb January 17, 2015, 5:52 pm

    Hahaha! Torre, I came here looking for ways to get rid of geckos after a miserably failed attempt at a gecko chase and almost died laughing!

    Today one managed to enter my bedroom after I left the window open the entire day and it kept making random noises before I chased it for like half an hour. Although I couldn’t manage to get a hold of it or chase it out of the room, it’s been quiet for some time now, although it did vanish somewhere.

    This chase was totally one of those experiences where I could really use all the Harry Potter magic spells that I could get my hands on!

    Thanks a lot for such an entertaining post and such witty comment replies! :)

  • Roxil January 24, 2015, 11:14 pm

    This is too funny, made my day! I have a beautiful 9 month old crested gecko, and she is the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. But sometimes, at like 3 in the morning, I can hear her jump and skitter all around her cage (I keep her in my room), and that is the creepiest thing ever. It’s like a horror movie, you wake up and here a big ‘THUNK!’ in the middle of the night, then some creepy rustling around in the and you are utterly convinced there is a human in your room. Scares the crap out of ya. I’ve been pooped on, peed on, had her do her ‘freaky’ run all the way up my arm (which I think is adorable) but I love her anyways. You should get one as a pet, and a crested gecko stays mighty small, so no fear of the meaty ones.

  • Emy love January 31, 2015, 11:22 pm

    Here in nigeria,we kill gecko as soon as it is sighted cos its evil or so its believed.in the night when one is asleep,it sneaks out of its hole and positions itself on the ceiling directly on top of the person and starts to suffocate the sleeping person. How it does it beats my imagination though.

  • Alex Victor February 6, 2015, 10:47 pm

    i really love your article! its very funny, i’m also experiencing something similar. i’m no longer freaked out by geckos, anytime i see em around i recall your post and laugh… nice work

    • zakiyah February 19, 2015, 10:30 pm

      I just came upon this post after seeing a Gecko walking on my wall in my bedroom it scared the shit out of me never did I ever think this little creepy motherfuckers are cute I hate this shit .I tried hitting the Gecko but he dropped his tail & got away didn’t want to step foot into my room. I’m scared as hell of this little freaky stuff. But this post was one of thee most creepy & funny things I’ve read in my life .#phobia

      • Annie February 20, 2015, 1:36 am

        I have been planning “the trip of a lifetime” to Thailand, Cambodia and Vietnam for next February. Now I am freaked out. I didn’t know they dropped from the ceiling. And hid in toilets. Gross!

  • Armaghan March 2, 2015, 7:08 pm

    There are 100s of lizards in my home. They are living with us since our house is constructed. I don’t like them at all. They disturb us a lot. I have started observing them now. Last time one very very fat lizard layed eges behind the frame which is right at top of my bed. The noise was so so creapy. I just want to ask and know Do Lizards produce sound? Do they have sound? Can they talk?

  • Carl Randall March 18, 2015, 5:39 pm

    Awesome story, very impressed with the analogies!
    We have one, my wife Regina screamed out the window, “We have a Geico in the bedroom!”.

  • Luke Van Rooyen March 20, 2015, 9:44 pm

    I will expose them for what they do and are… Now listen carefully as i swear on my life.When you are sleeping at night and one is in your room they wait till you asleep then go above the ceiling where your head is directly under them they will then drop their tail so it lands on your face or nearest to it the tail then finds its way to your ear where it will crawl into it the tail moves deep till it reaches your brain then latches its tail on your mind hence they control you… that is why some people are not scared of them as for me i know this to be the truth this is why i fear for them as i am aware what they do and what they are capable of doing so i have a great fear for them as i don’t want to be controlled by them ….. This is a true story as i swear on my life for it to be true anyone who doubts it is under their control… Luke!!!!!

  • Delphine March 29, 2015, 3:35 am

    I just had my first encounter with a huge gecko, and now that I saw your pictures I feel reassured, I AM NOT ALONE !!! I had a good laugh and am slowly recovering from freaking out ;) Thank you for this!