I need help choosing a book cover. All of my options are below.
But first, I want to tell you why I’m not good with decisions. In fact, I’m so bad at making decisions that it could be due to some sort of underlying medical condition, like scrambled eggs in place of a brain. It’s been that way for as long as I can remember.
Let me paint a picture of my indecision by taking you back to a school classroom, circa 1980-something. There’s me: six-years old, meticulously coloring an artwork with my tongue poking out to starboard (for added concentration). I feel an uncomfortable tugging in my abdomen, but I ignore the sensation because I’m consumed by what I love most: making art.
Suddenly, the source of the discomfort dawns on me with alarm.
I need to pee. I need to pee right now.
After an excruciating delay, I get the teacher’s permission to go to the bathroom.
Things are desperate now – extremely desperate – and I know I don’t have long, maybe a minute at most. My route-making from the classroom to the bathroom has to be the most direct, or else I’ll commit a primary school faux pas of the most humiliating proportions.
I have two route options:
Option one: Run down the hallway directly to the bathroom, which would breach the ‘No running in the hallway’ rule and put me at risk of getting stopped by an angry teacher. This route should take me around 26 seconds.
Option two: Run outside of the building, down the stairs, and around the classrooms, thus adding several precious footsteps to my journey. This route should take around 45 seconds.
I quickly mull over the pros and cons. Should I take the risk and go direct, or select the safer option at the expense of more time? This is possibly the most important decision of my six-year-old life. So here’s what I do:
Option three: Break into a dance called The Indecisive Shuffle, which goes a little something like this:
It’s just a jump to the left.
And then a step to the ri-i-i-ight.
Put your hands on your crotch.
You bring your knees in tight.
But it’s the running back and forth,
That really drives you in-sa-a-a-ane.
Let’s do The Shuffle again!
Let’s do The Shuffle again!
I perform The Indecisive Shuffle for about 60 seconds, possibly longer.
Finally, after I’ve finished dancing, I go outside, opting to run around the building to the bathroom.
Which, in retrospect, was the best decision, because if you’re going to pee your pants like I did that day, it’s really best done outside.
Please help me choose a book cover.
I have a book coming soon. It needs a cover. Covers on books are important. Important decisions make me shuffle (see above for dance steps). All my cover options are below, please let me know which one you like. Key info about Swept: Love with a Chance of Drowning for your information:
It’s a true love story that’s lighthearted, honest and raw. It’s mostly silly and fun, but occasionally it’s sad (some readers cry). While it takes place on a boat in the ocean, it’s not a sporty sailing book, dense with nautical lingo. While it involves travel and tropical destinations, it’s not a travelogue. It’s a character-focused journey about love, adventure, and fear. It’s targeted predominantly to women. Here’s the blurb and trailer.
Option one: the cover I’m using in my current promotions.
Option two: a girl in a boat.
Option three: beachy, simple.
Option four: girl half in, half out of the water and fragile paper boat.
Option five: This may be a trick question to make sure you’re paying attention.
Option six: Light. Quirky. Beachy.
So tell me: do you have a preference? Or should we all just do The Indecisive Shuffle together?
Torre DeRoche is the author of two travel memoirs, Love with a Chance of Drowning (2013) and The Worrier’s Guide to the End of the World (due out September 2017). She has written for The Atlantic, The Guardian Travel, The Sydney Morning Herald, Emirates, and two Lonely Planet anthologies.