Dear Book,

When we first started fooling around together, it was just a meaningless fling. You were something to do in the evenings—a clandestine liaison for when the mood struck. Life back then was simple. Remember?

We’d lay on the couch, laughing at silly jokes, drinking wine, and spooning tubs cottage cheese into our mouths. (Okay, okay—I did all of the wine drinking and the cheese eating, but I enjoyed blaming the empty containers on you.) Our relationship was light and playful, and I lived purely for the thrill of fingers fumbling on keys. Sure it was fun, but to be honest, writing you meant nothing to me and I didn’t think our relationship would go anywhere.

Then everything started getting serious between us, Book. Months into the relationship, I realised there was more between us than just cheap laughs, good times and couch sessions. You started to mean something to me, and when we weren’t together, I’d think about you all the time. So I broke off all of my other commitments and gave myself to you wholeheartedly.

After that, everything changed. Life was no longer neat and tidy. It became complex and frustrating. We cried, we argued, we fought ugly battles. I lost sleep. I obsessed. Though I’m not proud to say this now, I often considered tearing you up into little pieces with my angry teeth. More than once, I wanted to go Lorena Bobbit on you, Book.

But we always forgave each other—that’s why we’ve survived this.

Three years, Book. That’s how long it has been since our first silly fling on the couch. I never thought I could be with someone like you for this long—I’d expected our personalities would clash. You with your constant demand for perfection, perseverance, and blind faith, and me with my impatience, self-doubt and undiagnosed ADHD disorder. I didn’t think we’d be a good fit, but somehow we’ve managed to make it work and together we’ve grown, molded and changed each other. I know I’m a better person for having known you, Book.

Now we must part, which makes me terribly sad. How will I fill my time without you? Who will I turn to when I’m feeling inspired? Will I know myself without you here every day, Book? I don’t know the answers to these questions, but what I do know is that I love you deeply with all my heart, and because of that, it’s time for me to let you go.

Happy travels into the big scary world, my Book. I hope you’re treated kindly and I hope that maybe, just maybe, you’ll find somebody else with whom you can have a late-night fling on the couch.

Love Torre.

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31 Response Comments

  • Sheryll  September 6, 2011 at 3:17 am

    OMG! Congratulations! I am so excited, happy and proud of you. You’ve been such an inspiration to me. I just downloaded your book on my Kindle, I can’t wait to read! You deserve every bit of success coming your way. Congratulations again!

    • Torre DeRoche  September 6, 2011 at 3:26 am

      Thanks so much, Sheryll. I really appreciate it. x

  • Kim  September 6, 2011 at 4:00 am

    Torre, I’m so glad you broke up with book because I want a piece of him/her. XO

  • Nichole  September 6, 2011 at 6:34 am

    Wow, I’m hooked! Read the first chapter! I LOVE your writing style! Do we find out if you are still with Ivan? I haven’t seen anything about your relationship on the blog, maybe I haven’t dug deep enough. I kinda think maybe not? LOVE LOVE LOVE your story. Very Talented.

    • Torre DeRoche  September 6, 2011 at 6:47 am

      Thank you so much, Nichole. I won’t give away the ending! I hope you enjoy the read.

  • Tatiana  September 6, 2011 at 7:44 am

    This is both beautiful and marvelous! I’m so happy for you for having published your book!! 😀

    I hope you get super famous from it! Do you have a tour coming up soon?

  • Steve Roy  September 6, 2011 at 4:00 pm

    Hey Torre,
    Congratulations on the book, that’s awesome!!
    I love your writing and I sincerely hope it does very well.

  • JoAnna  September 7, 2011 at 1:54 pm

    Congratulations! I’m so excited for you! The letter to your book was beautiful. Best of luck as you begin yet another new chapter in life!

  • Sally  September 7, 2011 at 2:21 pm

    Yay! So proud of you! You are truly an inspiration for all us other impatient self-doubters out there. And thank you so much for opening up your relationship and sharing Book with all your readers. I know we will all love him… err, it… err, Book. 🙂

    • Torre DeRoche  September 10, 2011 at 1:19 pm

      I hope you’re loving him/her real good right now.:)

  • Lisa @chickybus  September 7, 2011 at 2:56 pm

    Great post….very creative and really says it well! I’m happy for you that you’ve gotten to this stage in the…relationship. It must feel good to be at this point. I’m still “very involved” with my book (editing it) and looking forward to writing my “last love letter,” too.

    Anyway, Swept looks fantastic (loved what I read a few days ago)…and I hope that he(?) has a lot of flings on over couches and it’s good for everyone involved! 🙂

    • Torre DeRoche  September 10, 2011 at 1:18 pm

      Thank you, Lisa. You’re in that angry, arguing stage of the relationship! Best of luck with your writing and editing. It’s a long but rewarding road.

      • Lisa @chickybus  September 10, 2011 at 3:08 pm

        Yes, exactly–angry and arguing–LOL. 🙂 Thanks for the well wishes…look forward to the other end of the road and being closer to that final destination! 🙂

  • Denise  September 10, 2011 at 12:57 pm

    I’d really love to buy this book, especially since I’m soon going to be stuck on a plane for 16 hours, but, since I’m not in the US, amazon is just to expensive when you add shipping fees. Do you know if it will be available on other online shops, such as


    • Torre DeRoche  September 10, 2011 at 1:17 pm

      Hi Denise,
      At this point, I unfortunately can’t tell you when the paperback will have UK distribution. The only thing I can suggest is buying a Kindle version and reading it via a Kindle app, or through Cloud Reader: will be giving away a free copy shortly—but that’s a pretty lame attempt at helping you get a copy in your hands. Sorry! When is your 16 hr flight?

      • Denise  September 10, 2011 at 1:34 pm

        Hi Torre,
        I don’t own a kindle and hopefully never will. I’m just in love with paper and hate reading off a screen, or the feel of a digital reader in my hands.
        The flight is in about a month. I guess I’ll have to wait but I really hope it makes it to this part of the world!

        • Torre DeRoche  September 10, 2011 at 1:57 pm

          I felt the same way, but recently bought a Kindle and was surprised at how quickly I fell for it. The screen looks just like paper. But I don’t want to talk you out of paperbacks because yes, they’re so lovely in your hands and I’ve always adored the papery smell.

          I just emailed you.

          • Denise  September 10, 2011 at 2:17 pm

            I emailed you back.

            Yes….the smell, oh how I love the smell of books…

  • Raymond @ Man On The Lam  September 11, 2011 at 4:12 pm

    Torre, Torre, Torre — I am SO over-the-moon happy for you!! I just bought the Kindle version. Now I’m going to have to stay up all night reading it. One chapter down, and I LOVE it! Now. where can I get me some coffee…


  • Hanna  September 12, 2011 at 4:21 pm

    wow, congratulations!
    i haven’t heard about your book before, but after reading this letter i will definitely check it out.

    • Torre DeRoche  September 13, 2011 at 5:04 am

      Thanks, Hanna! You can have some fun times on the couch 🙂

  • Nomadic Samuel  September 16, 2011 at 2:22 am

    Torre, congrats! May it have many new lovers 😛

    • Torre DeRoche  September 16, 2011 at 2:34 am

      Thank you. With any luck, it may become a total ho.

  • Claire  October 9, 2011 at 1:05 pm

    Just stumbled on here from Chicky Bus. I read your first chapter online and I feel a purchase coming on in my near future. Congratulations and you are an excellent writer!


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